Quitting Control An Addiction of the Soul

I love coffee. 

The promise of a full cup with just a dash of cream pulls me from bed in the morning. The guarantee of a mid-day perk is a treat I frequently look forward to. On rare occasions the expectation of a good evening conversation will tempt me drink it before bed.

I’m also addicted to coffee. 

When I don’t have that first cup, I get a pounding headache. If I make it half way through the day, I’m pretty exhausted. If I make it two or three days, let’s just say you may not want to be around me. 

Have you ever had an addiction?

Have you ever been mentally, emotionally or physically dependent on a substance or activity? 

I’ve never been addicted to a substance, other than coffee, but I’ve found myself addicted to something much more sinister: control.

Addicted to control? Perhaps it sounds odd, a bit far fetched or intriguingly familiar. 

Control is the power to influence or direct behavior or the course of events. Controlling people need to exert control over other people, their own lives, and the circumstances and situations that create day to day events in their lives. 

Control creates the illusion that you’ll be able to narrate your own story. It creates temporary peace through human power and promises future provision through carnal planning. 

Control is alluring and enticing, because it deceives us into believing we can have…

Certainty 

Understanding

Fulfillment 

Answers

Power 

…

Control is an addiction of the soul, and it’s something I had to quit.

Several years ago I found myself in a constant season of wrestling. I was making plans, following my schedule, and carving out a path for my families future. Externally it all looked good, but internally I found myself in a war. I was disappointed with my timeline, disengaged from my present purpose, and anxious about the future. 

One day I was praying about this internal turmoil and I simply said, “I feel so out of control.” I immediately heard the Holy Spirit say, “That’s exactly where you need to be. You need to quit control.”

Quit control…

Like I would quit a harmful addiction… Like I would quit coffee?

Yes.

The desire or need to be in control is a part of our fallen humanity. It originated in the garden with the fall of Adam and Eve, and it’s in our depraved nature. The enemy wants us addicted to control, because it actually gives him a foothold of control.

God wants control of our lives, but gives us a choice. We don’t have to give Him control of anything, but He wants control of everything.

Why does He want control of everything? It’s the great exchange.

When we give Him uncertainty, fear, and questions, He gives us hope, contentment, and answers.

When we give Him our today, tomorrow, and future plans, He gives us dreams, visions, and an eternal purpose. 

When we quit trying to get everything we think we want, He’s there waiting to give us everything we really need. 

I had to quit control and find freedom in surrender. I had to let go and let God so to say.

Quitting control is a journey. It’s an every day yielding to God’s plan—an every day yes to His ways. 

Are you addicted to control?

Ask yourself who’s in control? Really in control? Me or God?

Am I making decisions based on personal desires or asking God?

Am I making plans, because the Lord led me to or do I have a personal agenda?

Do I control my life, situations, and people around me, because I need something emotionally or mentally?

If you answered yes to any of these, you might be struggling with control. It’s not something to be overwhelmed or condemned about, but it is a sin. But, freedom is real and available. 

Follow this Recipe to ‘Live Out of Control’: 

Expose it.

Repent.

Renew your mind. [Word]

Rest. [Give God control]

Repeat 

Then ask yourself these questions: 

What would happen if I quit control?

What would happen if God really had control? 

Your answer should be enough to start you on this journey. Don’t delay, because I promise you this is a much better way.